Copyright 2007 Steven M. McCalip

The reader can copy and distribute freely.

Not intended for sale or profit by any user.

Website: www.kingjamesman.com

The gospel that saves you is not just good news.

 

It’s good and bad news. In fact, it’s the best and the worst news you’ve ever heard.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with water baptism.

That just gets you and your clothes wet if you’re not a believer already.

The gospel that saves you is as far removed from speaking in tongues as the east is from the west.

Learning or faking another language never saved anyone.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with your “good” outweighing your “bad”.

No one’s “good” ever outweighed his or her bad unless you’re Jesus Christ, and he had no bad, not one.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with how much better you are than your neighbor.

So what if you’re better. That’s like saying Stalin was better than Hitler.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with believing in a Jesus that is not God Almighty in the flesh.

That’s one of those fake Jesuses, and those never saved anyone.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with believing in the Lord with some of your heart.

It’s all or nothing baby.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with believing in a Jesus who didn’t shed his blood for your sins.

He didn’t die to help your self-esteem; he died for your sins.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with a gospel that says Jesus didn’t rise physically from the dead.

The dead do come back to life, and not just in those stupid movies you watch.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with confessing that the eternal Son of God became flesh.

“Eternal Son of God?” Someone sold you a bill of goods. See 1 John 4:2.

The gospel that saves you is not the same one that makes you unsaved and loses your salvation.

Salvation is not a revolving door where you’re in one day and out the next. Just make sure you have it first before entering this argument.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with you agreeing to any church creed, dogma, or tradition.

Who wants to read those anyway? Give me the sports section. At least I know what I’m getting.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with you agreeing to someone’s contrived “fundamentals of the faith”.

I looked all through the Bible and could never find that word “fundamental.” I guess it’s not that “fundamental”.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with what someone thinks are the “essentials of the faith”.

Pope John, Billy Graham, Dalai Lama, Bono, Gilligan. Who cares what they think is essential?

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with the early “church fathers” may or may not have said.

“Early church fathers?” Translation: Catholic and Baptist heroes.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with what any Pope has ever said.

Does anyone really take those guys seriously? Really? Someone needs to stop the insanity.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with what any TV evangelist says.

That’s like believing because your used car salesman says it’s so.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with what any institutional church says it is.

That’s no different than what the Republican party wants you to believe.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with “inviting Jesus in your heart”.

Inviting him to do what? He wants to live in a new heart, not your old one.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with praying to anyone but Jesus to save your soul.

Jesus doesn’t need any sidekicks. He’s the man.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with whatever time’s convenient for you.

Your life’s hanging by a thread and your worried about whether you can buy that big screen TV.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with whether you think it is reasonable.

Who cares what you think is reasonable when it comes to what he thinks?

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with picking and choosing what you want to believe.

The truth is not a Chinese buffet.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with what you think is right and wrong.

If that were the case, you just got a promotion to the Godhead.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with whether a pygmy in Africa has ever heard the gospel.

Most of them have anyway, so what’s your deal?

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with where you were born.

As long as it was on this earth, you’re in the same boat as everyone else.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with how good a worker you are and how much you provide for your family.

That’s nice, but that doesn’t cut it.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with your righteousness.

You don’t have your own anyway unless your Jesus Christ.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with any formulas for salvation that you need to memorize.

You’d have a hard time memorizing it anyway. What then? Mega-memory for Jesus?

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with whether someone witnessed your salvation publicly.

If you need someone to verify what you did, you probably didn’t do it.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with how much you find out about Hebrew and Greek.

Quick, say the Hebrew and Greek alphabet. Can’t can you? Quit pretending.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with you finding the right preacher that is anointed.

Good luck with that.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with how faithful you have been to your wife.

Ever lusted before? You blew that one too, Charlie.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with how godly your spouse is.

Salvation is who you know, but that doesn’t mean your spouse.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with what you feel.

“Feelings. Whoa Whoa Whoa feelings.”

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with whether you help God do anything.

You’ll just screw that up anyway.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with earning any brownie points with God.

Do they still earn those? How do you get those by the way?

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with keeping the Ten Commandments.

7 out of 10 is not passing, no matter what your school says.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with how long you’ve gone to “church”.

The longer the harder. Quit while you’re young.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with whether you’re in a “church” or ever will be.

Just ‘cause you’re in a garage doesn’t mean you’re a car. I know it’s cliché, but I’m running out of material here.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with what work you do for the Lord.

Teach all the Sunday school classes you want. The Lord’s interested in your availability, not your ability.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with whether you’ve been a child molester or not.

Jesus specializes in people like that whether you like them or not.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with whether you mass murdered people or not.

Jesus died for those guys too-especially those guys.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with keeping any part of the law.

How many of the over 600 Old Testament laws are you working on today?

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with what church you are a “member” of.

Try becoming a member of Christ and you won’t care about your other “memberships.”

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with what denomination you are a member of.

See above answer.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with what non-denominational church you are a member of.

Nice try. Same old soup. You’re still a member.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with how smart you are.

When did college have anything to do with going to heaven?

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with dumb you are.

At least you’re not in college and using that excuse.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with your opinion of anything.

If opinions are like elbows, (I’m being nice), then why is yours so important?

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with whether you agree or not with God.

God’s really intimidated by your staunch disagreement. Yea, right!

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with how much you obey God.

It’s a good theory, but it’ll never work.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with how much you sacrifice or don’t sacrifice to God.

You can’t even come close to his sacrifice if you tried, so give it up!

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with how much you read your Bible.

Again, nice try, but atheists can read, too.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with how much you give to charity.

It is better to give, but how much do you have to give to get saved? You could never give what God gave to you.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with how much you pray.

You can pray till you’re knees turn blue, but it’s the gospel you must believe.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with any “generational curse”.

All these Christian fads are really beginning to bore me.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with how many people agree with you.

The lowest common denominator belongs in Math, not religion. (Hey, I made that one up myself too.)

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with how many people disagree with you.

I feel your pain, but being a loner is not a prerequisite either.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with how much God has blessed you.

Like an old preacher once told me , “God will bless your socks off and send you straight to hell.”

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with how much education you have.

A fool that gets an education is just an educated fool.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with what country you were born in.

It’s what country you’re going to that matters.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with your culture.

The scripture could care less what your culture thinks about anything.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with your race.

You don’t even know what a “brother” is till you’re a Christian.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with your language.

God can save you no matter what kind of crazy language you speak.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with your gender.

Just because you women can’t preach, you can still get saved. Get over it.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with whether you are a homosexual.

“Sodomite” would be a more accurate scriptural rendering, but that’s only if you have a King James.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with what the majority of anyone feels about anything.

The majority was always wrong in the scriptures, so you can let go of that one, too.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with what such and such’s seminary’s definition of it is.

Seminaries, cemeteries, what’s the difference?

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with you knowing all the right answers.

Believe the right answers, and then you have something.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with uttering a “sinner’s prayer”.

Just say these words, mix in faith, and add water. Presto, you’re saved!

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with figuring out how to repent of your every sin committed.

Have you been keeping track of all your sins 24 hours a day for your whole life? Don’t forget the bad thoughts also.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with whether you are “elect” or not.

Leave getting elected to the politicians.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with how good you are or can get on your own.

Good is one thing. Perfect is another. You’ve got a long way to go, mister.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with any self-improvement program.

The real gospel wants to kill you, not improve you.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with your church “confirmation”.

I thought confirmations were for airline tickets.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with making you a better person.

If that were the case, I got born again the second I lost weight on my new diet. How about a new person? That’s ten times better.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with combining anything in this list with your belief also.

Now you’re really trying to be slick.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with whether God likes you or not.

You’re his enemy in case you’re lost. When’s the last time you asked your enemy if he liked you?

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with repenting of every “known sin”.

What about the ones you don’t know?

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with repenting of every “unknown sin”.

Hey, you can’t just repent of something without knowing what it is. You’ve got to figure those out too, and good luck with that.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with you repenting of every “willful sin”.

Oh, you mean the ones that you did on purpose? You mean, like all of them?

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with the fact that you haven’t killed anyone.

You have killed someone. Read the Bible, dummy.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with how many people you have been nice to.

Nobody’s that nice.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with how godly your parents or grandparents or cousins or aunts and uncles are.

So now salvation’s some type of legacy? Oh, I know, this must be a “generational blessing”.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with you feeling sorry for your sins.

You can stuff you’re “sorries” in a sack, mister.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with you trying your best to live for God.

Try, try, again, and again, and again. Give it up, dude.

The gospel that saves you has nothing to do with how much you tolerate all religions.

The more “truth” you tolerate, the less you believe “I am the way, the truth, and the life”.